BDSM Gear 101: What You Actually Need to Start Playing (And What You Don’t)

No dungeon? No problem. Power play starts with intention—not a full toy chest.

You’ve been thinking about trying BDSM.
You’ve scrolled through photos, read a few posts, maybe watched something that got your curiosity spinning.

And then you landed on a gear page that made you feel like you needed to turn your bedroom into a medieval torture chamber just to get started.

You don’t.

You don’t need a full harness setup or a six-piece furniture kit.
You just need a few key pieces that fit your body, your comfort zone, and your dynamic.

Let’s walk through what gear actually helps you start playing—and what can wait until you’re ready to level up.

First, What Counts as “Gear” in BDSM?

In the world of BDSM, gear means the tools that help you shape control, restriction, and sensation.

That can be:

• Restraints (like cuffs, straps, or spreaders)
• Sensory gear (blindfolds, gags, clamps, paddles)
• Dungeon pieces (like furniture or frames)
• Advanced equipment (E-stim, hoods, chastity devices)

But if you're new, you don’t need all of that.
Start with what helps you create a scene you’re actually excited about.

BDSM Gear Worth Getting First

1. Soft, Adjustable Restraints

Whether you’re the one giving up control or the one guiding the scene, restraint is one of the most powerful entry points into BDSM.

Look for:

• Wrist and ankle cuffs with Velcro or buckle closures
• A basic under-the-bed restraint kit
• A spreader bar (if you like the idea of being held open)

2. A Blindfold (Or Something That Covers More)

Sensory control is underrated.

Removing sight can heighten every other sense—making simple touches feel electric and every sound a little more thrilling.

Start with:

• A soft, contoured blindfold
• Or, if you’re into full immersion, a beginner hood

Shop Sensory Deprivation Gear →

3. An Impact Toy That Matches Your Energy

Impact doesn’t have to mean bruises.
A paddle can be playful. A flogger can be rhythmic. It’s about what tone you want to set.

Choose something that:

• Feels good in your hand
• Has a texture you’re curious about
• Matches the vibe you want—teasing, punishing, or somewhere in between

Browse Impact Toys for First-Time Tops →

4. Optional: A Gag (for Control, Not Just Silence)

Gags aren’t for everyone—but they can flip a scene fast.

If you’re into submission, they can create a deep sense of surrender.
If you’re topping, they’re a physical way to claim space and set limits.

Start with:

• A silicone ball gag (for comfort)
• A bit gag (for breathability)
• Or explore open-style gags if visual control turns you on

See Gag Styles by Feel →

What You Don’t Need Right Away

x Dungeon Furniture

Is it hot? Yes.
Is it necessary for your first scene? Not even close.

x Electro-Stim Gear

E-stim can be intense and incredibly precise—but it’s best saved for players who’ve built confidence and trust first.

x Half a Dozen Toys You Haven’t Touched

One of the biggest beginner mistakes? Buying too much.
Most people end up using 2 or 3 favourite tools consistently. The rest just take up drawer space.

Instead, Think About the Scene

Before you shop, ask yourself:

What kind of experience am I actually craving?

• Gentle restraint and teasing?
• A silent, blindfolded surrender?
• Rougher impact paired with praise and control?
• A total power exchange with breath play and sensory overload?

Once you know the scene, the gear becomes obvious.

Don’t Skip Aftercare

Whether the scene leaves you buzzing or totally spent, aftercare matters.

Have a blanket ready.
Keep lotion nearby.
Say something soft. Hold them. Or be held.

The gear comes off—but the energy doesn’t stop.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to prove you’re kinky with a closet full of toys.
You just need a few well-chosen tools, some imagination, and a willingness to explore your edges.

Start simple.
Build scenes that turn you on.
And let the rest come with experience.

Explore BDSM Gear for First-Time Players →

Need Help Deciding? Try the BDSM Gear Quiz →